My New Journal

So I decided that this blog is going into a different direction. This is no longer an open blog for an audience. This is now my personal journal to document moments and feelings in my life. Here it goes . . .

Aedan will be 10 months next week. I can't even say that out loud. He was just in my belly a few months ago and now he a whole person. Today I watched him strategically work his way up on his feet and hold his balance on his own (with no help) for a few seconds. I'm so proud of him. He is so beautiful. I'm realizing more and more that parenthood is wonderful and marvelous and more than I ever imagined. But it is also cruel and heartbreaking.

I told Mitchell the other day that I feel like all my heartaches from past boyfriends combined don't compare to the broken heart I have for Aedan—and he hasn't even done anything yet!!! It's like all the tears before him were just preparing me for parenthood. All the past loves were just poking at my heart but Aedan pierces through several times. I love him so much I can't smile, or cry, or laugh, or kiss, or hug enough. Thank you dear Lord for him.

So where are we?

Aedan is almost ten months. He has four teeth. He still nurses but is pretty good with his 3 meals a day with the baby food that I make. He giggles when I make funny noises and funny faces. He is ticklish. He loves the feather on his face. He crawls everywhere but not the "hands 'n knees" crawl but more of a scoot 'n drag "army" crawl. I love it. He looks like a worm. He loves to swim. He loves his motorcycle walker and once he gets in it the dogs and cat scatter as fast as possible. I love how his little hands feel on my legs when he tries to use them to prop himself up. I love holding him on my shoulder and putting his other arm around my neck like he is hugging me. The list goes on and on and I'm sure it will as I continue to express my thoughts and feelings in this journal.

And I love Mitchell so much. He is an amazing father. Of course, I knew he was going to be a good one but he is better than I ever thought. I love him more than the day I married him.

What am I going to do with all this love?